How To Torture A DemiGod
by LemonStickInsect
Summary: A simple story on torturing your favorite Characters
1. Chapter 1

**How to Torture Percy Jackson**

Percy woke up in a cold,dark, room. "Oh, gods where am I?" he muttered as he tried to stand up. He then quickly realized he was chained.

Suddenly a Large LCD screen flashed on the other side of the room.

"Hello, I want to play a game," spoke a voice.

"Am I being Punked?"

"No, Percy, I have read you like to play games with people, _GUESOME_ games."

"Capture the flag isn't that bad, I mean, you do lose an occasional arm, but nothing a good insurance policy can't fix."

"It doesn't matter…please wait a moment." the mysterious figure then disappeared from the screen which then started playing some elevator music. Percy could make out mutters in the background something that sounded a lot like "No, I don't want your value deal... yes I don't need a new tea set…Damned Telemarketers."

The Person sat back down into the chair, "Anyway, You will find yourself in chains, to escape you must find the key,"

"One question, what does this have to do with the hundreds of bottles of Cabernet Franc sitting in front of me?"

"Why yes, Percy, the key is located in one of these bottles, to find the right one, you must drink, you have twenty four hours… the puking bag are in the corner." and having said that the LCD TV went out and lights appeared in the room, revealing the hundreds, if not thousands, of bottles of wine.

_Several hours Later_

Percy was beginning to feel delirious "Why of course I'll go with you to the fireworks Annabeth!" spoke Percy before taking another swig of the bottle, "Now why am I drinking these again?" exclaimed Percy between hiccups.

In another Room The Mysterious Person was talking to LemonStickInsect.

"Is he…Is he talking to his puke on the wall?" said LSI disbelievingly.

"I think so." replied the Person

"Hey Wordsearch, maybe we went a bit too far making him drink wine..."

"No, he must find the key… did he just kiss his puke?" exclaimed a horrified WordSearch.

" This is getting out of hand, let's just move on with stage 2 and release the hellhounds."

"We would, but a particular lazy Author didn't get a second copy of the key!" yelled Wordsearch,

"How are we going to get the key NOW?"

"…Cheers!" called LSI as he held up a glass

"…Aren't you underage?"

"What are ta..talking about?" said LSI as he started tripping over his own feet.

_Several MORE hours and Hangovers later_

"Hey, I think I found it!" exclaimed Percy as he held up a small silver key. As soon as he rid himself of the chains, the floor fell revealing the Antaeus' arena. On top, was the shrine to Poseidon. There was a small sign that said FOR LEASE, and as Percy hit the ground he saw the uncoordinated Author walk up and slap a LEASED sign on.

"Hey Mrs O'Leary, come here and give me a hug…WAIT YOUR NOT MRS O'LEARY, NOOOOOOOO!"

As Percy screamed, the seats to the arena were slowly being filled. When Kronos walked in, however, several security guards and Wordsearch ran up "These seats are for VIPs only, go away."

"WHAT? BUT PERCY JACKSON IS MY ARCH ENEMY, I DESERVE A VIP SPOT!"

"Security take him away." and so Kronos was thrown out into the dark labyrinth all alone, oh wait he has his Ego for company nearly forgot about that.

While Percy was being used as a happy sack for Hellhounds, several monsters decided to run at him as well… that had to hurt A LOT.

_After_

LemonStickInsect was sitting down at his desk when Annabeth burst into the room.

"OKAY, WHATEVER YOU HAVE DONE WITH PERCY I AM GOING TO KILL YOU FOR IT, HE IS STUCK IN THE CORNER AND ISN'T COMING OUT, HE ACTS MORE EMO THAN NICO AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING!"

LSI looked down at his check list, "Victim 2, Check"


	2. Nico Room

**This chapter may anger Nico Fans  
**

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**Disclaimer:**

**I'm not Rick...enough said  
**

There was blood covering every inch of the walls. In the middle of the room there lay a large metal table and tied to the table was none other than the son of Hades, Nico Di Angelo.

When he first woke up, Nico believed that he was only in a dream, however that all changed when a steel door slammed open.

"Greetings, My name is LemonStickInsect." announced the boy as he snapped on a pair of Latex gloves.

Nico glared at the boy and then a sudden look of horror entered his features, "Wait... your not going to perform surgery on, _me_!" Nico screamed.

"Surgery? Pfft, you make me sound like I know what I'm doing. No, I thinking something more along the lines of I'm-gonna-poke-a-hole-in-your-chest-and-see-what-happens." Replied LSI with a grin on his face. Then he pulled out a chainsaw, "Now, Hold Still." LSI warned.

"WHAT, AREN"T YOU GOING TO GIVE ME PAIN KILLERS FIRST?" Nico screamed

'Good point," He then moved the chainsaw to face Nico's Face, "I have to cut off the Pain receptors in the brain first!" And having heard that Nico promptly fainted.

Nico woke up several hours later and noticed LSI was poking something in his chest while holding up his iTouch in the other hand.

"This doesn't look like the lungs," he muttered.

"THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S MY HEART!"

"Oh, We don't need it then," and he reached over to a nearby tray, grabbed a scalpel and started cutting.

"I NEED THAT TO LIVE!" screamed Nico.

LSI paused and looked at Nico then he turned back and started cutting even faster.

And for the second time that day Nico fainted.

**. . .**

When he awoke he noticed remains of what used to be his lungs sitting on a tray next him and that the deranged Author talking to Apollo.

"I don't know what went wrong, I followed the guidelines but I couldn't find the wrench!" exclaimed LSI as he held up a booklet: _Operation The Board Game INSTRUCTIONS._

"Maybe we should put him back, they could get suspicions." pointed out Apollo.

"Don't Worry, I got that covered."

_**Mean While At Camp Half Blood**_

Percy walked into the Hades Cabin, "Hey, Nico its time for Lu…." he stopped when he saw a figure standing in the corner.

It was a Cardboard Dracula figure and Everyone at camp knows that Nico and Dracula are Vampires so you could barely tell the difference unless you looked at their wrists.

Percy slowly backed out of the room.

**. . .**

Hours later Nico woke up in his own cabin, "Thank gods it was only a dream.." Nico sighed and then looked at his night stand, there he saw a box with a crisp yellow sticky not on top of it.

The note read: _'You still want your lungs right?"_

At the Medical Room

LSi held up an X Ray photo, nestled in Nico's chest was a REUSABLE plastic bag.

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**Review?**


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